Growing Stronger

    “What doesn’t kill you makes you stronger.”

    Hard beating, encouraging  lyrics, and energetic tempo make me completely fall in love with “Stronger”, sang by Kelly Clarkson. The reason I like this song is because it reflects my bare true feeling recently. My wounded soul would get soothed after I listen to it. Sometimes I will step back and tell myself life is not as hard as I think. The way the thing develops depends how I look at it and how I try to solve the problem. I always tell myself with more efforts, I can make it. Do not look back and move forward. However, to say is one thing and to do is another.

    I take the course of shadowing this semester and I see it as a turning point in my English-learning process. Not until that I have taken this course do I realize how poor my English is. I totally fail to catch up with the speed of the speaker and coherence of the sentences when shadowing. In the meantime, I feel “extremely” depressed and helpless, unable to figure out what is going on. My mind goes blank and I could not focus on things thereafter. For the first time, I suffer a lot in learning English. Out of passion to language learning, I always feel comfortable upon learning new stuff, and usually, I could handle pretty well because of my eagerness to be professional. Nevertheless, this time the situation is quite different. I am gradually losing the confidence and tend to be gloomy when I shadow the speech. I am trapped in my own miserable swirl, unable to pull myself out of the endless pit. Being an interpreter has always been my dream, yet I doubt it now...

    To be frank, in my college life so far, the ability I need to strengthen is confidence. I look down on myself frequently. One of the reasons I feel inferior is when my friends entered remarkable top-ranked universities, I did not enter my ideal school--- English Department in NTU. The sense of being morose comes over to me very often, but it also reminds me that there are a lot more for me to progress. I am a person who always thinks too much, tend to make things complicated and afraid of losing. I always want to be the best. I do not want to be a loser to be looked down on. That is why every time I do not perform perfectly, I would be sorrowful for a long while.


    
    Notwithstanding, I guess this is my growing-up process. Be realistic, no one can ever succeed without paying something or undergoing hardships. No reason to be despondent if I haven't pushed away my limit, the enmity will merely make me gloom. To live life to the fullest, I've got to grow stronger, strive for what I want and look at things with rose-coloured glasses, instead of complaining, as it is the essence of la vie.
    
    “It’s often said that no matter the truth, people see what they want to see. Some people might take a step back and find out they were looking at the same big picture all along. Some people might see that their lies have almost caught up to them. Some people may see what was there all along and there are those other people, the ones who run as far as they can so they don’t have to look at themselves.”---- Gossip Girl