Problems in a Relationship (Revision1)

    Speaking of a relationship, it is without a doubt a complicated and subtle connection that links people together. To build a relationship is easy, via a small talk or a nod, a connection has been formed. However, to develop and manage a relationship is not a simple task, especially to keep it in a good condition at most of the time. Hence, we might ask, what is the definition of a good relationship?

Life is composed of ups and downs and so does a relationship, comprising of both criteria. Everything comes with pros and cons and so frictions are inevitable. To be frank, problem is to catalyst as spear is to shield. Both of them come from the same root. Although they go against the counterpart, they rely on one another indeed and so problem can transform into catalyst, increasing the intimacy of a relationship while at the same time, catalyst can actually turn out to be problem, too. Therefore, before jumping into the ways to manage a relationship, why not take a minute to evaluate the problems in a relationship?

To me, the problems in a relationship could be categorized into three major parts. The first reason why a conflict will arouse is the lack of understanding. As we all know, the same coin has two sides. Unless we comprehend the whole story, we are just grasping a tip of an iceberg, missing the other part, which may serve as a turning point in the entire event. Although it seems to be a straightforward and a common sense that we should recognize the whole story before drawing a conclusion, unfortunately, we often fail to abide by this rule, having our own bias towards the event, making false comment and blaming others for the mistake. That is the fuse of a crevice in a relationship.

The second problem is the lack of communication. After we know what happened, once we miss this important process--- communication, a relationship would deteriorate badly. Communication is an extremely pivotal aspect in a relationship, bringing about either the opposite or negative result. To be more specific, it is an intermediary that has a direct impact on the result. Through communication, we could not only have a deeper recognition of the whole event but also get to know the person better. By and large, we understand more about this relationship and thus know how to manage it properly.

The third one and in my opinion, the most crucial one is the lack of tolerance. Having the ability to tolerate the other in a relationship is a must. Now and then, we would encounter circumstances that could not be perfectly balanced without the test of time. Benefit of either party would be deprived of. As a consequence, we have to learn to give in sometimes and by putting ourselves into the other person’s shoes, we would realize why the person copes with the matter in a certain way on the spot so that the next time we are trapped in the same situation, empathy could be expected..

To sum up, the next time we are confused with the complex human relationship and could not grasp a thread of what we ought to do, try to remember the “spear and shield” metaphor By conforming to the above three golden rules--- learn to understand, communicate and tolerate, we will not only manage a relationship well but also realize the true essences lying behind.